ADD · medication · parenting

Ritalin

So my 11-year-old son started Ritalin yesterday… just one day after he officially received his diagnosis of ADD (without hyperactivity). We have three more weeks of school and I want to see if this makes a difference before  summer comes and the expectations are less demanding. I’m still struggling with trying to figure out how I feel about this whole “meds” thing. A part of me is relieved that we finally maybe can “solve” the issues in school that have concerned me for the past five years. A part of me is still in denial that *my son* needs medication. Another part of me blames myself for not being able to “fix” him like I used to “fix” my patients (without medication). Overall, I think the strongest emotion I’m currently feeling is guilt. If it works, I’ll feel guilty for not agreeing to meds earlier. If it doesn’t work, I’ll feel guilty that we’re back to square one. If he feels any side effects, I’ll feel guilty that I couldn’t help him without meds. If it either works or doesn’t work, I’ll feel guilty that my job has always come first and that had I dedicated more time to him or had more patience with him, we wouldn’t be in the situation we’re in now. The rational side of my brain says that the worse thing we could do is to do nothing at all and that ADD is not the end of the world. I know these things, but the guilt’s got me in an irrational funk that’s hard to ignore. So here’s hoping for whatever Ritalin is meant to do for my son…

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