about · psychology

Random Obsessions and Fleeting Interests… or Not?

I find it facinating how I have these thoughts, ideas, or obsessions that seem so random and fleeting. I thought it might be interesting to document my daily time and thought fillers to see if they are somehow related or come back around full circle at a later time.

Recently, my obsession has been/was resin crafts. All I could do was shop resin supplies (confession: I love researching and putting crap in my shopping carts, and I say “carts” since I’m almost always at any given moment shopping multiple websites, yet hardly ever actually buy anything), watch YouTube videos on resin crafting, and make resin pieces. I say, “was,” because I was super into it and then I researched, as I always do, and realized there’s a better resin out there that is quicker curing and seems like a better fit for my instant gratification personality type. So then, all of a sudden, I’m not into resin anymore.

Moving on to researching changing from selling dōTERRA (not as a business but as a way to get free/discounted essential oils) to possibly selling Young Living essential oils and toying around with the idea of creating a business of it (or supplemental income). Reached out to a friend today who sells Young Living and am anxiously awaiting answers to my questions to see if I should actually switch over.

Today, I also started obsessing over stamped metal. During my early morning  shower, I recalled a vendor I met at a craft fair at the hotel we stayed at in San Diego when we vacationed there last Fall, and fondly remembered how cool I found her jewelry creations to be and how I liked the fact that she was so portable and could create wherever she was with just a few tools. I like the idea of being portable and flexible and not being tied down to electricity or a certain piece of machinery or cumbersome supplies. So now I have a shopping cart (I really should say, “shopping cartS”) full of stamped metal supplies just waiting to be purchased.

So maybe as I document these thoughts, my true path may be revealed, or things may come full circle and explain something that didn’t make sense in the past. Maybe, just maybe, these thoughts and obsessions of mine are not so random after all?

depression · psychology

Just one of those days…

Today was just one of those days. You know those days that feel like much more work than it’s worth? It felt like I needed much more oomph just to push through and not give up and walk away. And I felt like I needed to muster up every last bit of what I had left in me… and it was only 2 hours into my work day. I felt myself digging deep… real deep. It got me through… at least until lunchtime. Then my favorite Korean food got me through lunch and the next couple of hours… until I felt like giving up again. So I went to spend a few minutes with my Grandma. And you know what Grandma told me when I (half) jokingly told her that I wish I could retire already (I’m 20+ years away from retirement)… she said I need to be grateful because there are many people out there who want jobs but can’t find one. And just like that, I felt better, and like my feelings throughout the day were insignificant.

And as I lay here with my son as he settles in for the night, my original post got erased, random letters got inserted, my phone fell on my face, my phone fell  on the floor (more than once), and at one point everything was highlighted blue. I might’ve nodded off more than a handful of times. Because I had one of those days… and having one of those days like I had today is exhausting.